The Spanish defy both their cultural past and their circadian rhythms to push for a normal, siesta-free workday. Personally, I wish we used the siesta cycle here in America—I'm damn near useless between about 11AM and 2 PM, and I don't think I'm the only one. That was even more true in college: The 8:45 classes were always a hurdle to get up for—and my freshmen year I rarely did—but once I was actually there, all was well. Meanwhile, I could always make it to the 11:15 classes on time, but after that it was one big blur. (It was there that I perfected this pose, with the hand shielding the eyes just a bit more.)

But while we're at it, why not sever our own agricultural roots here in America and force schools to start class at a normal hour? Especially for teenagers, who typically need to sleep in until nine or ten or whatever it is. Come to think of it, I have no idea why we don't do this. For young kids it might be hard for parents to arrange drop-offs, but surely high-school kids can wait for the bus on their own, no? And having dated a teacher until very recently, I can all but assure that unions would happily sign up. So what's the catch—that we won't be able to fit three-hour baseball practices in? Is that anything a few floodlights can't fix? Or eliminating the insanity of Daylight "savings"? Ah, now this plan's all coming together...