Sarcasm—what is it good for? Nothing, I say. Okay, not really, but still. These days everyone takes pride in being "sarcastic". Or having a "dry wit". Or even more hilariously, being "cynical". It's a badge of honor, or in some circles, a sign of intelligence. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but the barn's getting crowded here. Sarcasm's only funny when it's done well, and as it becomes more and more common, it's less and less likely to be done well. Not only that, but high-quality sarcasm depends on shock and awe for good effect. If everyone's doing it, there's no shock and awe; it just degenerates into an annoying verbal tic.

This can't go on. Irony's okay; I like irony, it can stay and party. My beef's with sarcasm and sarcasm alone. Young people of the world are just going to have to stand up, unite, and figure out some new way to express their bitterness. Seriously.